The Top Ten Good Things About Christmas

1. An entire week off.
2. Christmas dinner, Christmas cookies, Christmas candies, Christmas alcoholic beverages.
4. Decorating the house with lights. If they’re up any other time of year, you just look lazy.
5. Being with the family and then going out Christmas night with your friends.
6. Trying to put little fake reindeer ears on pets.
7. Christmas Eve, when there’s nothing left to do but look at the lit and decorated tree.
8. Christmas morning with coffee and presents.
9. Still getting toys even though you’re 27 years old.
10. Watching TNT’s 24-hour marathon of A Christmas Story.

12 thoughts on “The Top Ten Good Things About Christmas”

  1. I’ll bite

    1. a good excuse to yell at Thundy to try and keep the house clean
    2. Pepperidge Farm Ginger Man cookies all day every day
    3. free food and booze at relatives’ places
    4. no one yells at you if you drink too much
    5. pretty lights on houses
    6. no one looks at you funny for playing tchaikovski in the car
    7. everything smells good
    8. fun to taunt my jew with christmas
    9. fun to get taunted by my jew with “yea but we killed him, sucka”
    10. day off to play baldur’s gate

  2. Try guessing these Christmas carols
    1. Quadruped with crimson proboscis
    2. Nocturnal time span of unbroken quietness
    3. Small municipality in Judea southeast of Jerusalem
    4. Ancient benevolent despot
    5. An emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good given to the terrestrial sphere
    6. Listen the celestial messengers produce harmonious sounds
    7. The first person nominative plural of a triumvirate of far eastern heads of state
    8. Yonder in a hay rack
    9. Cherubim audited from aloft
    10. Move hitherward the entire assembly of those who are loyal in their belief
    11. Hollowed post meridian
    12. Natal celebration devoid of color, rather albino, as a hallucinatory phenomenon
    13. A dozen twenty four hour Yule periods
    14. Befell during the transparent bewitching hour
    15. Obese personification fabricated of compressed mounds of minute crystals
    16. I spied my maternal parent osculating
    17. Perambulating through a December solstice fantasy
    18. Embellish the interior passageways
    19. Tin tintinnabulums
    20. The Christmas preceding all others
    21. Diminutive masculine master of skin-covered percussionist cylinders
    22. Omnipotent supreme being who elicits respite to ecstatic distinguished males
    23. Tranquility upon the terrestrial sphere
    24. Expectation of arrival to populated area by mythical, masculine, perennial gift-giver
    25. Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulums in inverted, metallic, resonant cups
    26. Proceed forth declaring upon a specific geological alpine formation
    27. Jovial yuletide desired for the second person singular or plural by us

  3. 1. Quadruped with crimson proboscis – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
    2. Nocturnal time span of unbroken quietness – Silent Night
    3. Small municipality in Judea southeast of Jerusalem – O Little Town of Bethlehem
    4. Ancient benevolent despot – Good King Wencelsas
    5. An emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good given to the terrestrial sphere – Joy to the World
    6. Listen the celestial messengers produce harmonious sounds – Hark the Herald Angels Sing
    7. The first person nominative plural of a triumvirate of far eastern heads of state – We Three Kings
    8. Yonder in a hay rack – Away in a Manger
    9. Cherubim audited from aloft – Angels We Have Heard on High
    10. Move hitherward the entire assembly of those who are loyal in their belief – Come All Ye Faithful
    11. Hollowed post meridian – Oh Holy Night
    12. Natal celebration devoid of color, rather albino, as a hallucinatory phenomenon – I’m Dreaming of a White Xmas
    13. A dozen twenty four hour Yule periods – 12 Days of Xmas
    14. Befell during the transparent bewitching hour – It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
    15. Obese personification fabricated of compressed mounds of minute crystals – Frosty the Snowman
    16. I spied my maternal parent osculating – I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
    17. Perambulating through a December solstice fantasy – Walking in a Winter Wonderland
    18. Embellish the interior passageways – Deck the Halls
    20. The Christmas preceding all others – The First Noel
    21. Diminutive masculine master of skin-covered percussionist cylinders – Little Drummer Boy
    22. Omnipotent supreme being who elicits respite to ecstatic distinguished males – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
    23. Tranquility upon the terrestrial sphere – Peace on Earth
    24. Expectation of arrival to populated area by mythical, masculine, perennial gift-giver – Santa Claus is Coming to Town
    26. Proceed forth declaring upon a specific geological alpine formation – Oh Tannenbaum
    27. Jovial yuletide desired for the second person singular or plural by us – We Wish You a Merry Xmas

    19. Tin tintinnabulums – Silver Bells? Jingle Bells?
    25. Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulums in inverted, metallic, resonant cups – Silver Bells? Jingle Bells?

  4. Here’s another one I haven’t seen anywhere (I just made this one up):

    During the nocturnal time period in which caretakers of wooley-haired herbivorous mammals reviewed their groupings

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