Top 10 Turkeys

10. Me: I want to use paper plates and utensils for Thanksgiving dinner, so I don’t have to do any dishes or cook. Kent and Leslie are determined not to allow this. I’m mad.

9. Nick Saban: Made the list last year after being deplorable to the media that annointed him God in Baton Rouge. Now, he’s back, this time as the head coach of the “exciting” Dolphins. “The record doesn’t really matter, the result doesn’t matter and the score in the game doesn’t really matter.” Saint Nick’s ego will always stand in his way.

8. Leslie: For finally getting a job. (Sucker.)

7. The Atlanta Hawks: Moving from New Orleans, it was hard to imagine having a worse hometown hoops team to root for. It’s not hard to imagine that now. A month into the season, the Hawks are the only winless team in the NBA.

6. Rafeal “I have never done steroids in my life” Palmeiro

5. Mr. Unstoppable: He knows why.

4. T.O.

3. T.O.’s agent: “Can you tell me what else you’ve done for your client besides getting him kicked off the team?” One of the funniest moments in sports all year.

2. Tom Benson: What an evil, twisted man. Once again, he’s proven to be all-businessman and not nearly enough football-fan.

1. Anyone involved with the response to Hurricane Katrina: Due to your lack of organization and leadership, people died. Others lost their wordly possessions and some the ability to make a living in the city that they love. Thanks for the money, though. I miss New Orleans.

2 thoughts on “Top 10 Turkeys”

  1. I would like to add an eleven: Tom Cruise. Tom, you are a big jerk, and you screwed up Katie Holmes for me. Jerk! JERK!!

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