Top 10 Overrated Things

10. Art
9. Darts
8. That guy who says he doesn’t like a band, then calls them his favorite after it hits it big.
7. Religion
6. That guy who really likes a band but later pretends not to like them once it becomes popular.
5. New York City
4. TORI FREAKIN’ AMOS, except for Cornflake girl ( Help: Living with gay man.)
3. Cafe Du Monde
2. baseball
1. NASCAR

Nagin for Head Coach

Nagin blasts Saints owner for trying to move team

NEW ORLEANS — Mayor Ray Nagin disparaged Saints owner Tom Benson on Wednesday for working with San Antonio officials to permanently keep the NFL team in Texas.

The mayor’s comments came after the departures of two top Saints executives who were supportive of keeping the Saints in Louisiana. Nagin is concerned that San Antonio officials said publicly that Benson is working with them to relocate the franchise to Texas.

“We want our Saints, we may not want the owner back,” Nagin said while attending the reopening of Cafe Du Monde in the French Quarter.

Continue reading Nagin for Head Coach

Haslett, not hurricane, responsible for Saints’ patheticness

For how much longer do Saints fans have to put up with Jim Haslett’s inability to consistently prepare his team? One last year, it appears. Wouldn’t it be nice to make a run at the playoffs before jumping ship to San Antonio? Wouldn’t it be nice NOT to fumble on the opening kick off?
But, as the injuries mount and the mistakes increase, it would be nice to find an allegiance in another team.

After the hurricane, the Saints had the opportunity to go in two different directions:

No. 1 — Play inspired, emotional football, actually getting the most out of their talent and allowing younger players to at least gain experience while making the same mistakes the veterans are making.

No. 2 — Use the tragedy as an excuse to squander another season away by committing the same type of foolish penalties, turnovers and poor preperation that has plagued the team since Haslett’s arrival.

Does anyone really think the Dolphins have more talent than the Saints? Maybe defensively, but who doesn’t have more talent than the Saints’ defense — Georgia Tech?
Poor, poor San Antonio. Hope the Saints’ patheticness doesn’t rub off on the Spurs, like it did on the Hornets.

Crowd Noise, not 6 turnovers, reason for Saints loss

That’s right Saints: It’s not your fault.

ESPN: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2167506&CMP=OTC-DT9705204233

SAN ANTONIO — Now that he’s been through the experience of playing a “home” game on the road, and came away a loser, New Orleans Saints coach Jim Haslett is furious about it all.
Back at the team’s temporary home in San Antonio, Haslett said Tuesday the Saints were at a competitive disadvantage in their 27-10 loss to the New York Giants at Giants Stadium on Monday night — even if they were wearing their home jerseys and saw their nickname painted in one of the end zones.

“They could have done that anywhere,” Haslett said. “They could have played that game in Baton Rouge. They could have played it in San Antonio and could have done the same thing.

“To play it in Giants Stadium, to give them another home game and to put us in a situation where we couldn’t hear … It wasn’t why we lost that game, but …”

When the league told the Saints they had to play in New Jersey, Haslett would only say it put his team behind the 8-ball. Yet after seeing his team commit six turnovers and 13 penalties, he let loose.

“It wasn’t a home game,” he said. “I look up at the scoreboard and there are signs, ‘Let’s Go Giants’. The referees, when they flipped the coin, they asked us if we wanted heads or tails. They had no idea who the home team was and who was away. The crowd noise we had to deal with, we never had to do a silent count at home.”

Saints quarterback Aaron Brooks had some strong comments about all the hoopla surrounding the game.

“They made this seem like the Super Bowl,” Brooks said after the loss. “We played a team that outplayed us today, but it was way overdone. Setting up a stage, traveling out here, was uncalled for.

“Try not to patronize us next time, traveling us to New York, saying we’re playing a home game.”

Haslett tempered his remarks with appreciation for the in-game telethon that featured current and former NFL star answering telephones in the effort to support those affected by Hurricane Katrina. The league said Tuesday that $5 million was raised for the Bush-Clinton Katrina Fund in about 6½ hours.

“The whole thing was a great cause and the NFL did a great job of raising money for the Gulf Coast,” Haslett said.

The Saints won’t have any more home games in an opponents’ stadium. The remaining seven games initially scheduled for the Superdome will be played at Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge, La., and the Alamodome in San Antonio, where the team has its practice site and headquarters.

“I don’t think [an NFL team] has done that many games traveling,” he said. “I think that’s something that will be answered in January or February because I really don’t know. Hopefully we handle it better than what we did yesterday.”

The Saints were attempting to maintain the league’s longest winning streak dating to last season. New Orleans won four straight to end last season and defeated the Carolina Panthers in their season-opener.

During their roll, the Saints had eight more turnovers than their opponents. On Monday night, it was the Giants that came away with five more.

The edge began eroding when Fred McAfee fumbled on the opening kickoff on an attempted reverse. New York scored three plays later.

Many of the penalties came on special teams. One possession started on the 14-yard line instead of the 28 because of a Mike McKenzie roughness penalty on a kickoff return. Another was backed up to the 5 when Fred Thomas was called for blocking above the waist on a punt return. And another drive started on the 15 when Terrence Melton was called for holding on a kickoff return.

“The penalties were our fault and the turnovers were bad decisions,” Haslett said. “You’ve got to hold onto the ball. We had poor field position all day because of our own doing. Special teams were ragged all day on our return units.”

Even if McAfee would have held on to the ball, the Saints would have started their first drive of the night from their own 16 on the failed reverse.

“That’s not the great way to start the game — a turnover and seven quick ones,” Haslett said.

Now the Saints (1-1) are getting ready for another road game, this time in Minnesota. It will be the fourth straight week they fly to a game, counting the preseason.

“We lost one game and this team’s overcome a lot in the last month, so that one game is nothing compared to what we’ve had to overcome,” Haslett said. “It’s just the way it was played out — a Monday night and all the things that were going on. We didn’t deal with the situation very well.

“We’ll forget it and we’ll move on and try to play better this week.”

Notes
Multi-game tickets for games played in Baton Rouge, La., will be sold on the Internet starting Friday and walk-up sales start Monday at Tiger Stadium. Capacity at Tiger Stadium will be 79,000 — down from 91,600 for LSU games — because of staffing concerns on the part of LSU officials. … Kickoff and punt returner Michael Lewis suffered what Haslett called a serious knee injury and could miss extensive action.

Relationship Over

After a brief email interaction, I sent the love of my life (discussed in ‘On My Way to Cybersex) my picture, which, evidently, has ended our relationship. This abrupt conclusion to my two-day affair has left me heartbroken and convinced that looks do matter. Hopeless in New Orleans, sex out of the questions, man boobs too big … life fading away … bald

On the way to cybersex

This my first attempt at Internet dating. Here’s who I chose. What do you think?

Do you love needy, emotional cripples who suffer perpetual mood swings? Do you like girls who demand constant attention and assurance from you and when you give it, push you away and complain that you are smothering them; then, when you leave them alone for ten minutes, they scream that you don’t love them anymore and are cheating on them with someone else as they raid your cell phone for the whore of Babylon’s phone number or plunge their heads madly into your laundry basket in search of another woman’s perfume? Perhaps you would like a girl with advanced degrees from pretentious universities who probably couldn’t function in a job at a taco stand for very long because she finds all jobs painfully boring and a waste of her time. Probably the girl of your dreams views offices as microcosms of the world; that is, insane asylums with bars and no escape. Death or insanity are your true love’s only options as she operates the copy machine and wonders why doing this 8 hours a day is considered healthy and normal. The best part is every day when she comes home and tells you how much she hates her job. You love this. In fact, you live for it. The monotonous, epic tirade about how she is a slave to money and bills and derives no satisfaction whatsoever from a single minute of her repetitive, mundane existence is the highlight of your day. Most days, it is all she can do to keep from plunging a letter-opener into her chest as she date-stamps the mail over and over and over again. The very thought of this makes you want to take her in your arms, tell her everything will be fine, kiss the tears off her beefy, apoplectic face, and throw her down on the floor and have wild sex. The best part is how calm and stabilized she becomes after sex. Your power over this girl’s emotions is like crack.

What I am looking for: a somewhat bookish, intellectual and/or artistic, sensitive, patient fellow between the ages of 33 and 40 who likes to nurture little wounded forest animals back to health; a guy who can manage to walk the fine line of rescuer (without being too stifling) and slightly sadistic tormentor who won’t put up with shenanigans or nonsense of any kind (yes, the ‘daddy’ issues you have at your disposal are infinite). No jealous types or controlling freakshows please. You are very calm and self-assured. No major self-esteem issues to speak of.

What you’re looking for. A tall, thin, eccentric, often reserved, sometimes not (remember, mood swings), creative, impulsive, sometimes socially inept individual who isn’t very mentally stable. You love temper tantrums intermingled with sobbing spells, followed by a few weeks of catatonia. You view the catatonia as a vacation. You can catch up on reading, pursue your own interests, or just rest up for the next raging storm. You are probably an enabler who views his girlfriend as a very complicated and challenging project. It’s all good.

Please include a pic or I am afraid I won’t be responding. This is not so much to judge your looks. I am not that shallow (well, ok, maybe a little).

SAINTS STAYING, still suck

A week after having his lawyer tell San Antonio media that he was pursuing other options, Tom Benson said Tuesday that he is not planning to move the Saints.
“My plan right now is to stay in New Orleans and let my grand-daughter take the club over,” he said.
Benson also said he didn’t even want to consider other and possibly more lucrative offers from other cities.
“We’ve got a contract through 2010,” he said. “They’re the ones talking about breaking the contract. At no time did I say that we were going to leave or break a contract and I’m not going to say that now.”
Gov. Kathleen Blanco has been attempting to get Benson to renegotiate a deal giving the team $186 million over 10 years, saying the state cannot afford it. The contract was negotiated by then-Gov. Mike Foster and approved by the Legislature.
Benson recently canceled additional negotiations until after the 2005 season when the Saints have their first opportunity to negate the current deal and move by repaying the $81 million the team received during the first five years of the contract. The state can opt out of the deal after the 2007 season.
Here’s an idea: Agree to use some of the money to refurbish the Dome, then repay the Saints with the extra cash generated from the nicer and more fan-friendly stadium.

How do you get out of a rut?

Ruts suck, and I’m in a big one. Each day is very similar to its predecessor, and neither stimulates me fully. Not to mention smile without forcing myself. But without significant savings, how does one bust loose from the man?
Clearing out your desk and bursting out of the office sounds fun, but it’s probably not the best technique for a successful ressurection of one’s career and social life. My mom says that when you’re unhappy or bored, you should something for someone else. So if anybody needs something done that can be accomplished from New Orleans, please feel free to ask. I mean anyone. There has to be a way for the little folk. Help me.

Paul’s birthday is Sunday. Everyone, whether you know him or not, should call 917-673-7313.

Kent, please add spell check to this thing ….
Leslie, please take your top off ….

Thanks … DP

Lunch w/ Brent Joseph

On Wednesday, Tom Benson played his relocation trump card by having his lawyer in San Antonio tell the S.A. newspaper about the offers the Saints have received from other cities.
He has absolutely no loyality to this city. He’s all business man and 0 football fan.
Albuquerque, New Mexico? Bullshit. (Is it OK to curse and does this thing have spell check?)
The NFL in New Mexico, great …
Meanwhile, Brent Joseph and I are on our way to eat catfish from the Sav-A-Center buffet. To the shower I go … la, la, la, lllllaaaaa …