10. Dudes, I got SO laid.
9. Hole in one!
8. Apparently, butt babies do live. (Sorry, I’m gross)
7. Guys, I’m outta here. Take care of this baby for me.
6. I totally recommend doing it with pregnant chicks.
5. Experimenting with pot does not make you infertile.
4. I want to have a sit-down with each of you about safe sex.
3. Congratulations, it’s not you that I knocked up.
2. While trying to come up with the ultimate Mardi Gras bead attracter, I envisioned a 3-month-old stuffed inside a Saints can koozie. So I made one.
1. I should have made the choice to be gay.
Due date: Dec. 11.