Oct 112007
 

SaintsIn an article in the Sun-Herald about the Saints kicker situation and Mare’s groin injury that is supposedly keeping him from making field goals, Olindo F. Mare said:

“I’m not worried about anybody taking my job as far as when I’m healthy,” Mare said.

Then Mare alluded to Tony Romo’s five interceptions and lost fumble when the Dallas Cowboys played at Buffalo on Monday night.

“You can’t base it on one game or Dallas wouldn’t have a quarterback.”

Yeah, but the difference is, Dallas won.

 

SaintsThe only teams that are worse than the Saints are St. Louis and Miami, and that’s just because they haven’t had their bye week already.  Are we emotionally spent after last season?

Is it:

  1. Olindo Low Kick Mare -Sunday’s blocked kick was totally his fault. Peppers knocked it down with his elbow. I can’t really fault him for missing the long field goal, a kick we had no business attempting. Way to go, Chip Lohmiller.
  2. Devry Dropsies Henderson – That catch and run to the one was great, but that last drop/bounce into the hands of the Panthers was ridiculous. At least he looked like he was about to cry after the game.
  3. Jamal Front Door Brown – When he wasn’t getting run over, he was lining up incorrectly and costing us a touchdown.
  4. John the Other Front Door Stinchcomb – See Jamal Brown, without the illegal formation penalty.
  5. Drew Bad Decision Brees – Drew didn’t get sacked on Sunday, but still looked terrible. Is it his fault? Is it the O-line’s fault? Is it the wide receivers fault?
  6. Sean Predictable Payton – What’s with this short pass bullshit? Did you forget how to use Reggie? Where’s the play-action? What’s with all the slants and five-yard out passes? ALL OF WHICH ARE DROPPED, by the way. What’s with the conservative play calling? The long field goal attempts with a kicker who couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn?
  7. Robert Where Am I Meachem – Are you not that good? Can you not learn the playbook? Are you fat? Injured? We need someone to step up in our receiving corps. I don’t care if it’s Meachem, Copper, Moore, or Patten.

On the bright side, Eric Johnson looks pretty good and so does Mike Karney. Reggie’s games are getting better. Mike McKenzie bailed out the secondary. (I never thought I would appreciate McKenzie so much). Hollis Thomas looked good. Will Smith finally got a sack.

What do you think is wrong with the Saints? Do you still believe? I do.

 

Sorry I missed posting this on the actual day, I was rocking West Chester, Pennsylvania.

I back-dated it.

Thank goodness we don’t have to look at Koster’s Pantera album anymore.

 

Pantera

I was working out the other day, and listening to Tom Waits. I started thinking how great it would be if the devil’s voice sounded like Tom Waits when you went to hell. (I’m not a big believer in hell, but I really think you are selling yourself short by ruling that place out.) Anywho, then I got to thinking about what the music in hell would be. My first thought waas that it would be some horrible cacophony, but then I realized that it would probably be a more personal experience. Which means it would probably be some music that I really hate. So I took a quick survey of the music I hate the most, and decided it would probably be some sort of death metal. Something like Pantera (And I don’t know anything about that music, so if Pantera is technically not death metal, I apologize.) So I think this sucks. Because I bet Pantera hopes their music gets played in hell. And I’m making that happen. Here, I would like to wipe that music off the face of the earth, and instead I am assuring it will go on until the end of time. Unless a) I don’t wind up in hell b) I am wrong about hell’s music or c) they don’t actually play music in hell. Now that I think about it, they probably don’t. And also, I think there is a chance Christian Rock would beat out death metal for my hell music. How ironic would that be? Michael W. Smith adding to my damnation. Hell seems like a bad place. They do specials about it on The History Channel all the time. It really looks lousy down there. It’s making me re-evaluate my beliefs. I have given myself 3 months to sort out my belief in hell. Then I’m going to do something about it. I don’t really care about Heaven. I’m sure it will be dissappointing like everything else that’s supposed to be great. One time Chelsey and Chuck and I went to Chicago. We looked forward to it for months in advance. It turned out to be a nightmare. That’s what heaven will be like for someone like me. Everyone will be happy, and I’ll be looking around and wondering why it’s not as good as I thought it was going to be. Getting back to the point. I have 3 months to decide about hell. Please feel free to forward me any information on the subject. However I will mostly be searching me heart and mind. I hope to have an answer by some time after the holidays.

Oct 022007
 

A high school student in Atlanta recently wrote a column in the school newspaper, criticizing homosexuals and even going to the extent of calling them “reproductive errors.”

For the record, I believe homosexuality is a choice; otherwise, I believe science would have discovered a common trait among gay people by now.

I understand that my belief is offensive to homosexuals. I’m not really sure why. Paul tried to explain it to me one time, but I don’t think I ever really grasped the concept.
He also tried to answer my other big question about homosexuals: If gay men like men, why do some often dress like women and act feminine? But, again, I’m not really sure of his answer.

(Disclaimer: I apologize beforehand if I’m offending anyone. It is not my attention.)

The student, Thomas Benjamin, wrote: “I realize biology commits many reproductive errors. Homosexuality can be one of them.”

Do you think homosexuality is a choice or a biological error or neither? Do you have a problem with the school paper publishing the article? Do you have a problem with me?

Oct 022007
 

What a steaming pile of crap that show is.  Bad acting, bad writing, and bad plots that all seem to revolve around some kind of sketchy real estate deal to buy up poor folks’ homes in the East or the Lower Ninth Ward.

This week’s episode was even better because they needed to include the Mexican immigrants in the plot.  Apparently, there are no cars in New Orleans, and the laborers needed to bring in the Latin Kings gang to organize rides to job sites.  Just a bad, bad show all around.

In a related note, thank you New England Patriots for sucking every bit of joy out of Monday Night Football.  I had zero interest in watching them dismantle the Bengals and watched stupid K-Ville instead.  Thanks.

Cheaters.